A New Year, A New...Something...

A look back: My very favorite picture of last year


My life's wish for them is that they will always smile this much.

And now a look ahead...

The holidays came and went. Seems like fall is when I fall off any yearlong project I'm doing ... maybe THAT'S why it's called "fall?" Or maybe it has something to do with leaves and trees, but my way seems to be more accurate. Last year was a blur. New house, new baby, new goals ... but this year we are gonna get grounded. Dig in and lay down some roots. Really get growing.

So here are my resolutions for 2012*

Get in shape: Losing weight is the side bonus. Ok, who am I kidding? Losing weight is the main focus. I thought about getting a tape worm, but the gym seemed like a more productive idea. I used to be made for speed and not so much for comfort...now I'm TOO comfortable. So it's time to get moving. After a month of gym workouts, I'm feeling good and looking better! Go me, go away my butt.

Mind my own business: Yeah, I'm nosy. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about taking my two side gigs and turning them into ... something. I've been designing photo cards for years and studying photography for longer than that. I want both cards and photography to be more than a hobby. I'm still a little nervous about it and I want to do A LOT of portfolio building and even more learning first. But I got a much-needed, no-BS kick in the butt from Brianna Saban (if you don't already know her work, get to know it, she's AMAZING! And she's fun too, so if you ever need a no-BS kick in the butt, she's the girl to give it to you), so it's on the list.

Sure, there are trips I want to take, things I want to do to the house, to my hair, to my husband...but these two big resolutions are things I want to do FOR ME. And I think in doing them, I will be a more present wife and mother. I can already see differences. In my body, in my mood, in my creativity flow.

Not sure what to do about a project this year. It's too late to start a weekly deal. Maybe I'll do a monthly thing. We'll start with two from January.

And since this is my photo blog...here are some photos of the little people (who aren't really so little anymore, a fact I'm not all too comfortable with).





*Barring any epic world-ending Mayan-predicted fiascoes, of course.

November 1 - 30 Days of Grateful

There are a lot of 30 Days of Grateful memes going around Facebook. I think I might be too cynical for that kind of assignment. I think the first 5 days I would be grateful for my husband and my family, and then I would wake up grumpy one day and I'd be grateful that I had enough willpower to keep from strangling said husband or family. I have some very wonderful and sensitive friends who start their day with a song of gratefulness in their hearts and blue birds dance around in their bedrooms and land softly on their hands. I'm NOT one of those people. I roll out of bed grunting at the day, and birds don't even think about crossing my path until I've had my coffee. That's not to say that I'm NOT grateful, I am ... just with a generally sarcastic tone.

I saw a 30 days of grateful...in PICTURES. This I can do. Or at least I'm gonna try.

Day 1 -

My two little buggers. Love 'em. They drive me nuts, sometimes one at a time, sometimes as a brother conspiracy to see if they can turn mom's hair green. But they are WONDERFUL and noisy and the best things I have ever made. Their laughter is infectious and my heart is so full of it.

Devolved into schmaltzy...sigh, that's what I was afraid of.

October - Love That Face

This is my favorite picture right now. When I look at it, I can smell his sweet baby scent and feel his soft baby skin. My cousin Quinn is a doll and a ham and sweetheart. I'm fairly certain that even when he's a grown man with children of his own this is exactly how he will look in my memory.

October - Carved for Attention

Friends, fun and a LOT of pumpkin guts...a night well spent.

October - New Way of Looking at Things

I got a new lens...and with that, a new reason to keep on shooting. It's a 50mm, f 1.8. This means fast. But what it really means is I've taken the first hit of photo crack and I want more. More zoom, more prime, more body functions...I want more. I don't NEED it, but I WANT it. A good photographer can take great pictures with a cell phone or a point-and-shoot or a camera like mine, a hobbyist DSLR. But that doesn't mean I don't wonder what I could do with ... MORE.

October - The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

If you know me, and let's face it, since you're reading this you probably do, you know that Balloon Fiesta is my VERY FAVORITE thing. It's the closest thing to real magic that I've ever seen. The crisp air, the swirl of colors, the joy of seeing balloons all around and above you. MY VERY FAVORITE THING. And this year was possibly the best mass ascension we've ever seen. It was truly breathtaking.


And this year was Dane's first Fiesta. Like everything else, he was pretty mellow about it.

Week 32 - Hanging with Friends

Making friends as an adult is hard. I might even say that you don't make lifelong bosom friends as an adult. Those are friendships formed in high school and college filled with innocence and boozy fuzzy memories. I think couple friends are arguably the hardest friends to make. You like her, but the guys don't click. The guys are pals, but she's ... eh or sometimes worse than eh. Both Michael and I have LOTS of old friends. Friends who live far, far away. I have a few girl friends I do girl things with. I still really miss my old high school and college friendships, but I'm working on being open to new friends ... new friends with spouses. And I'm thrilled that M and I have found a couple of couple friends who are fun to be with. The best part is that we can all hang out together. And while neither of them have kids...yet...they are great with my kids so we don't feel like the "kid people" weighing down the fun. We went to a baseball game with our couple of couple friends, and then we went to the fair. And it was fun! It was fun to be out with FRIENDS. I didn't even realize how much I missed being with people I'm not related to (not that I don't love our families, but it's nice to spend time with new people. It adds dimension). I look forward to more couple-friend adventures. And who knows, someday we might even start hosting BBQs or just inviting people over to watch the game or play cards...you know, the stuff people with friends do.

Week 31 - Diving Into Autumn

The pool finally turned blue on it's own with that aid of Photoshop magic. Since summer is officially over, we are gonna pimp Owen out as an airline floatation device. He's wearing so much swim gear, I'm confident he could float a 747 with ease. We said goodbye to the season of "damn it's hot" with one last swim in a not-so-warm pool. My child who would barely get his feet wet at the beginning of summer was a diving board jumper, a poolside jumper, a doggie paddler and all-around water baby by the end. It's always sad to say to goodbye to long days, warm nights and cooling off in the pool, but I'm looking forward to the many ways my little daredevil will attempt to make my heart stop next summer.

Week 30 - Just One Hutch in My Plan

So I bought a hutch. A really nice, super reasonably priced hutch. A beautiful cherry wood solid hutch. I wanted to paint it white to go in my house. Turns out it's an ANTIQUE hutch. A COLLECTIBLE ANTIQUE hutch. Can't paint it. Doesn't go in my house.

I contacted a guy in Kentucky who sells this particular brand. I sent him some pictures to see what he thinks it's worth. Never heard back from him. Pretty sure right now he's trying to find out where I live so he can come steal my priceless antique hutch. Good thing it's heavy...very very heavy. Or it's worthless and answering my email wasn't worth his time. Probably the latter.

I sometimes feel like I'm on my own reality show. And not like a good one where smart people are seen doing smart things. I'm like what happens if you drop Kim Kardashian in a normal life. There's a lot of scratching my head and going ... how did I end up here?

Week 29 - Something to Swing About

This is my new favorite picture of my child. It captures everything that he is. Pure joy and light, a little mischief, motion personified. It captures his style at this age - Crocs and sunglasses at all times. He loves sunglasses. He wears them nearly all the time. He puts them on and passes out in his carseat like a college guy who was out too late. He pushes them to the top of his head like he understands how cool that makes him look. He'll even put them on the pack of his neck, which admittedly I taught him, but who would have thought he'd think THAT was hot. I love love love this age. He's stubborn and always moving and ALWAYS into SOMETHING. But he's funny and creative and so very full of life. He's all about learning new things - like swinging! And I love to see how his little mind works. He's a problem solver, and a copy cat. He overcomes fear and I am always moved just watching him steel himself for something new and scary, or to try again when he's fallen down. He's amazing. I know, we all think that as parents...and it's true, each of our little beings is just amazing to watch as they learn and grow and become who they will be.

Week 28 (maybe) - Someone to Watch Over Me

I like to LOOK at beaches. But I'm a pool girl. This pool was like an ocean. The largest pool in the continental US, or so they tell me. Perhaps I should set out to find out if that's true. A tour de pool. How cool would that be?

Week 27y- Nap or Watch the World Go By

We took Owen on his first vacation when he was 3 months old. And this year we took a 3-month-old Dane on vacation as well. Things we learned: Two kids are more than twice the work, go one place and just stay there, naps are our homeboy. Both boys did really well. We have great travelers, I'm guessing in part because we start them when they are 3 months old. Dane hates for people to eat, and Owen would rather play with an iPhone than do anything else in the world, but other than that, we had a great time. We often think of finding a little place by a beach and living the beach bum life. But for now, we'll just take our once-a-year foray to someplace tropical.

Week 26ish - And Two Become One

M's cousin got married. The music was late '90s-early 2000s fare...so, AWESOME! The couple used a quote from When Harry Met Sally, their vows talked about cuddling up to watch Step Brothers and there was a man without a shirt dancing at the end of the night. All in all, a good wedding, I would say.

I was listening to their vows and the sheer joy and simplicity of them were flooring. I remember when it was that easy. A phone call, a glance. When the work of being together wasn't work at all. But marriage is work. Worth doing, but work nonetheless. They've got the right idea. Connect, cuddle and laugh a lot. And every once in a while, strip your shirt off and JUST DANCE!

Week ... 25? - Two Sets of Hands are Better Than One

My mom has a picture of me playing with Play Doh with my grandpa. In a little box somewhere there is a village of Play Doh people going about their lives with their little wheelbarrows and their donkeys. All made by my little hands and my grandpa's big ones. My mom is passing down the same memories to Owen. He doesn't really get it yet, but he loves the attention and likes to play with Grama. He likes to take all the Play Dohs out of the containers and roll them flat and then try to stuff them back in the containers. He loves the pink one and won't go near the black one. I'm always curious about what these little interests will turn in to in terms of real-world skills, and likes and dislikes. For now, I'm just enjoying watching them play.

Week 24 - 3 months and counting...

A white couch with kids...whose bright idea was that?

Week 23 - In Full Color

art/ärt/Noun

1. The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.

2. Works produced by such skill and imagination.

I'm working very hard (and let's face it, I'm Type A, so probably TOO hard) to let Owen create without restraint. I want him to be able to make and create with glee. And here's where my own crap influences my parenting (don't smirk, you do it too): I never felt free to be and make whatever I wanted, HOWEVER I wanted. I still don't really. Even in art school, I couldn't just ... let go. And maybe that's why I take pictures, dials, apertures, focal lenghts...control. I'm a perfectionist with authority issues. Can't ... ok WON'T ... follow a pattern, but I want what I make to be perfect the first time. There are a lot of rules in my world. And I don't want my kid to put that kind of pressure on himself. And I don't want to put that kind of pressure on my kid. I want him to have ideas and let it fly! So we started with finger painting. He painted the paper, he painted the wall, he painted the floor and he had paint from head to toe. And he mixed and he pushed and smeared, and we were both so happy. The paint didn't wash out of the shorts...oh well. And it was hard to get off the wall and the floor, but you know what? We did it all again the next morning!

Week 22 - Just Hanging Around

It took me years - too many really - to figure out that a dad wasn't the man whose genetics you shared, it was the guy who was in the mix every day. The one who took you to ballet lessons. The one who was at school functions and award ceremonies and parades and picked you up from daycare. The one who taught you to drive even when your mom said no. I never really knew my biological "dad", but I had an everyday dad who loved me very much.

I'm so very glad on this father's day that my kids don't have to sort through hurt and confusion when dealing with their dad. Their dad is a great guy who is in up to his elbows every day. He's the cuddler, the diaper changer, the hair comber and the breakfast maker. He's the encourager and the discipliner (yeah, I know that's not really a word). I would say I was a lucky wife to have such a great husband who is such a great father...but it wasn't luck. I knew that he would be all those things and more, and that's why I picked him.

Week 21 - You Are My Sunshine

This spring and summer have been ... windy and smokey. The usual clear sky with still, hot days are non-existent. Smoke from the Arizona fires settle over the city at night. My house is the only thing that blocks the wind as it picks up speed rolling in from Grants. It's been anything but "summer." And then my husband showed up with an armload of sunflowers to brighten my days ... and they worked.

I love this photo. It reminds me of the photos I see on Mockingbird or by Susannah Conway (who left a comment on my Week 18 post, thrilling me to no end! It's like a rock star came to see my garage band play). I might have to make a print and hang in my house, keeping the photo high and the romantic gesture close at hand...and heart.

Week 20 - Keep It Clean

There's a lot of baby crack in my world. And I mean that in the most literal way as well as the "I'm totally addicted to my baby" way. Can't get enough of the latter...the former, well, that's just part of the package. No "package" pun intended.

I'm thinking I might need a creativity jumpstart so I'm thinking of doing a 30-Day Photo Challenge. C'mon...you know you want to do it with me...who's in?

Week ... 19 - Baby baby baby...oh!

I feel like such a slacker. All I do is watch baseball games and play with the kids. And laundry. I do LOTS of laundry. Who would have guessed two little people could make SO MUCH LAUNDRY?! I try to remember that if the blog isn't posted, the facebook isn't updated, the thank you cards aren't sent (I REALLY need to get on that) and the dishes aren't done...it's ok. My babies will only be babies for so long. I'm enjoying this time with the littlest loved ones and trying to remember to pick up the camera between feedings, diaper changes, diaper changes, diaper changes and, oh yeah, feedings.